Well Hello, John Carter!!!

Courtesy of Julie Bell and Boris Vallejo, 2009

I'm torn between sharing my John Carter experience and not sharing. It's only been a few days since its release, and, maybe I should give people time to watch it? Hmmm...Nah.

The story is related through John Carter's diary as it is read by his nephew, Edgar Rice Burroughs. Some time after after the American Civil War, John Carter gets transported to Mars, taken captive by a tall species of horned martians and tries to save the Princess of Mars from an arranged marriage to the enemy leader. Unfortunately, this will mess up the plans of an immortal group of pale bald Time Lord type guys, perhaps related to the pale bald guys from Fringe. They have been planning the fate of Mars (a.k.a Barsoom) since before mankind , sorry, Martian-kind existed and are not very happy with Mr. Carter's interference.


Did I enjoy this movie? Yeah, it was O.K.


I found certain parts a bit drawn out, especially the mushy, gooey parts (do people really like that stuff?). The 3D effects were fun when they were noticeable, mostly during flying machine scenes, but I expected far more from Disney. The nature of the story and where it takes place should have offered far more opportunities for 3D to really shine. The most the 3D gave me was a headache and a bit of nausea. 

There were some amusing parts, some comic relief to cut through some of the boring portions, though sometimes it felt a little forced. The sets were well done, parts of it filmed at Disney Studios. The beautiful landscape of Utah was used as the Martian Terrain, which was appropriately dusty, reddish-brownish. 

Mr. Carter, played by Taylor Kitsch, was in fine form. He did  look a bit ridiculous bouncing through the air like the Hulk, an ability stemming from Mar's lower gravity and Earth men's lighter bone density. He became much stronger as well, plowing through giant martians like a bowling ball. 

The Princess of Mars, Dejah Thoris, played by Lynn Collins was quite stunning and exotic. I am particularly happy that she was portrayed as a shapely woman, rather than a Hollywood Skinny. 

The costumes were interesting. It always intrigues me to see how costume designers interpret written descriptions of clothing and style and, also, where they take liberties. The "good side" had cool helmets with wings, which reminded me of the various Hollywood depictions of Hermes' head gear. It seemed, over all, that Martians dress like ancient Greek warriors, and do not like pants.

Frank E. Schoonover, 1917

Another thing that interests me is the story's very brief explanation of time travel. Copies of people travel from planet to planet using a special glowing medallion and a few magic words. The original body remains comatose, back home. More explanation would have been nice. And what exactly was the 9th ray?

Final words? Disney's John Carter wasn't bad. It wasn't great either. I, unfortunately, have not yet read A Princess of Mars, so I cannot comment on how well the film was adapted from the book, whether it remained true or it was altered Hollywood-style. 

I wouldn't be opposed to watching the next film in the series, if Disney decides to make one, however, I really hope that they do a better job of it.

Readers, I'm interested to hear comparisons between the book and the movie, and impressions of the movie in general. Please share!